VANESSA KRUSE

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A Letter To My Daughter: Be the Nice Girl.

May 30, 2019

Can I be real here? Is this a safe space? Okay. Here goes.

 

I've been bullied before. 

 

Yep. There. I said it. Got it out in the open. 

 

But, I'm not talking preteen years. I'm talking like post married years. I'm talking adult years, you guys. The years where we assume that the topic of bullying doesn't apply anymore. Girls are mean, but women are meaner. Why this is, I'm not really sure, but as social media grows and grows, I'm noticing that more women now are walking in competition over community. More women now are in it for themselves and if that means seeing you walked all over to get to where they need to go, then get ready for a heel to the face because mean women just don't care. 

 

But you see, I care.

 

I care about the woman that my daughter sees me as. I care about the way my daughter sees me treat people. I care about the way that she is going to one day treat others around her, her peers, her classmates, her friends, the girl who doesn't look like her, the girl who should be seen upon as competition. I care about what my little girl sees in me, because what she see's in ME is what she'll display to others. 

 

Am I stepping on people to get to the top? 

Am I running others into the ground with my mouth, not just in front of her, but behind her, when she's not listening?

Am I loving others well?

Am I quick to include people if I see that they're alone? Am I the one reaching out or am I the one doing the excluding? 

 

I don't know one woman who hasn't at some point felt the sting of exclusion, when you don't seem to fit the mold of the crowd, when those in the room with you haven't glanced your way not for a second, when a scroll through Instagram didn't leave you feeling less than at some point in time, and so on the list goes.

 

And it got me thinking...

 

 

 

Baby girl, my Adalie,

 

Don't be a mean girl.

 

Don't choose to live for yourself. Don't choose to use your words to cut others down.

No, my sweet girl. YOU be the nice girl. You be the girl who never excludes. You be the girl with open arms at the lunch table. You be the girl who sees the best in everyone around you. You be the girl who sticks up for those who are hurting. You be the girl who fights for the least of these, for those around you who are walking with their heads hung low.

 

You be the bigger person. You start the conversations. You walk in confidence.

Never forget who you are in Christ, Adalie. He has set you apart to be the friend of those who have none, so when others at your school see you? They see someone they can trust. They see someone who's truly genuine (and trust me, that's getting harder and harder to find these days). YOU be that genuine one, baby girl.

 

God has equipped you with such a beautiful heart, but Adalie, because of that, can your mama share something with you? There will be some who doesn't like that. There will be some who grow jealous of that heart and those will be the ones who try to hurt you with their words. Remember, your identity is in your Daddy. Your identity is in Jesus and their words? They're just little God winks that give you direction on who to love the most. Love those who are mean to you. Pray for the girls who mistreat you and stick up for the ones who are mistreated.

 

Be the nice girl, Adalie.

 

Be the one who says "you can sit with us". Because mean girls only grow up to become mean women and mean woman lack what you and I have. They lack a confidence in their God. They lack His love, because when you know His love, you can't help but love others. His Word tells us that, sweet girl. Press into His Word's as you grow, choose Jesus always and choose other's next.

 

You be the bigger person.

 

You be the nice girl.

 

XOXO, Mama

 

 

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